Royal Navy won't fight pirates 'in case they claim asylum'

The British Navy isn't what it used to be. Granted, modern pirates aren't swashbucklers, either, but really!

British Foreign Office officials are understood to have advised the Royal Navy not to confront or arrest pirates in the region for fear of transgressing human rights legislation or encouraging their seeking asylum once taken to the UK.

The possibility of piratical sea-scum being clapped in irons and returned to Blighty, there to roast swans in rent-free council flats rather than dancing a final hornpipe on the end of a rope at Execution Dock, has led to a predictable outburst of tubthumping.

The Navy has issued a boilerplate denial that it is soft on piracy, saying that "Royal Navy commanding officers take decisive action to aid ships under attack in international waters, including the use of force or detention if necessary".